Lord, Walk with Me Through This.

We were crossing the road the other day when Theo pulled his hand out of mine.

"I don't need to hold your hand. I'm big. Not like Jesse."

He's only 4! He's very good with roads, so I probably don't need to hold his hand, but I told him, "I know you don't need to. I just like holding your hand."

He was happy with that answer, but one day, sooner than I'd like, he'll be right and he'll cross a thousand roads without me. The harder part will be when he doesn't want to hold my hand...

But the hand was never really about the road. It was about walking together.

I smile at his little declaration of independence, but I do exactly the same thing with God.

When life gets scary, when I'm out of my depth, I reach for His hand without thinking. I pray hard. I hold on tight.

But when things are going fine, when I'm coping, I quietly let go. As if His hand were only for emergencies. As if needing Him were something to grow out of.

"I'm big now. Not like them."

Asaph, the author of Psalm 73, spends most of it wrestling. He's envious of people who seem to be doing fine without God, and honest about how bitter and self-sufficient his heart had become. And then he stops and says this:

"Nevertheless, I am continually with You. You have held my right hand." (Psalm 73:23)

Not "You held my hand when I was drowning." Not "You grabbed me just in time." Continually. Through the wrestling, through the wandering, through all the seasons Asaph thought he was walking alone, but the Lord's hand was there the whole time.

God is not holding your hand because you'd be lost without Him in this particular crossing. He knows what you can manage. He knows you could probably take the next few steps on your own.

He holds your hand for the same reason I reached for Theo's. It's because He loves you. It's because He likes walking with you. Not rescue. Relationship.

So if you're in a season where you're coping, where the road looks clear and you haven't reached for Him in a while, His hand is still open. You don't have to wait until you're drowning to take it.

And if you're gripping His hand with everything you've got right now, take heart. He's not embarrassed by your need. He was holding on long before you were.